I admit it, this is less about Star Trek and more about good old-fashioned humor but… it’s also Patrick Stewart! So that counts right?
Plus… Did I mention Patrick Stewart?!
Thanks to GQ for the hilarious video of the Shakespearean actor (and Enterprise-D Captain Picard of course), Patrick Stewart reading real one-star reviews of famous world monuments.
Like the Statue of Liberty. “If I’m going to take a boat out into the middle of the water, I want this lady to do something beyond just stand there. Like, can’t it be a ride or something?”
I mean, really? REALLY?? You’re in a boat looking at an iconic historical monument and you want Disney? Or Six Flags? Besides, aren’t you already ON a ride if you’re in a boat?
Set phasers to laughter… and… FIRE!
Of course, Patrick Stewart also voiced the Poop emoji in The Emoji Movie. But then he has always been known for his irreverent sense of humor and his knack for refusing to take himself too seriously…
“Oh, yes, my passion for (Beavis and Butt-Head) remains… I think it’s one of the most original and brilliant pieces of television that we’ve seen in recent years. The dialogue is delightful. I simply sit and giggle and laugh all the time.” ~Patrick Stewart
My favorite of the reviews has to be:
The Statue of Liberty – “Like, can’t it be a ride or something?“
But the others are equally entertaining:
Stonehenge – “Dated. It could do with a good clean and some fresh paint! Sadly, past it’s best.”
Gateway Arch – “So. If I bend a piece of metal and stick it in the ground I can charge a bunch of money for suckers to go in it. The only arch worth visiting is the golden one that sells hamburgers.”
Mount Rushmore – “Loved the monument. Hated the location. South Dakota? Really?”
Hoover Dam – “More like the Hoover damn, this is disappointing! Correct me if I’m wrong, but anyone can build a wall to contain water. It’s called a bath tub.”
Natural History Museum – “I just don’t like stuffed animals. I find them very creepy.”
The Eiffel Tower – “You know who loved the Eiffel Tower? Hitler.”
And because this is, after all, a Trek Blog, and because Patrick Stewart is fabulous… enjoy this photo of his truly from the Met Opera: